there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
