and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
