dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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