please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
