you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Someone came in the potted fern
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
