I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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