wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
no. you can't hotbox the world.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
