its not stalking. its research.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
