I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
