My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize