I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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