Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Text me some of your sweat
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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