you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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