Did you just see the Batmobile???
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
