Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(626): View more from California

What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway

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(310): View more from California

thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!

(1-310): View more from California

you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked

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(480): View more from Arizona

Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.

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(443): View more from Maryland

like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again

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(253): View more from Washington

I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.

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