I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
