If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
