I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
