The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
