Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
