His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
sex in a hospital.. check
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
