get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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