somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
why do cheetos always look like penises
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
