Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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