she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
