We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
