Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
