I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
