You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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