I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
is that a dick in a sweater?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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