You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
