Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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