You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
