I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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