Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
