We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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