I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Operation Purity has been aborted
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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