We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I need to calm my uterus...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
