I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
