His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize