Betty ford says i'm here all night
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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