I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
