He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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