I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
