There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
