Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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