He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
