You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
