dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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