halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
