I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
