yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
