man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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