when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
