suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
