moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
