belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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