just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
