he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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