ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
