we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
two words...techno handjob
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
