lets start a swedish sibling band together
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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