dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
